--v--<@ A flower that grows despite cement holes @>--v--





now what

Monday, July 18, 2005

the storm has arrived
sweeping away unimaginably everything
leaving scrumbs and waste behind
now what?

don't stay here anymore
the voice says

but every single part of me
belongs to this place

there's nothing left here
voice continues

but memories
I know... but ...

stay here and waste?
voice retorts

waste...
everything in me is gone anyway

so you're going to stay here and die?
voice replies

I... don't know...
really... I can't move... yet...

here, take this
take this knife and end your life
easier way out for you
voice croons

I can't... I....

You are a coward!
Voice storms

No! I'm not! If I have the bloody courage to fight the storm, why can't i take my life.. it's just that...

every being fights for survival,
it's only natural
but when it comes to taking your own life
it needs real courage

I can't

why not

No....

You're a bloody coward

NO!

Then??

I need to live
To see the sunrise again
to live my dream
whatever that's left of it
and find out what's in store for me
before i breath my last breathe
I still want to finish my book of life
to the last chapter
and not be a spoiler by skipping to the last page
to do justice to the author...

hmmm... fair enough
good answer
voice replies

I...

so...?
now what?
voice quips

I guess...
I'll make a move.
Yah...
I'll make a move.

See you around then!
Voice out...

~inspiration to write something longer nowadays~




to see the world

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

a little girl
peeps out of her little window
in a tiny house
of a faraway estate
in a small town
where few people reside
and life is laid back

she wonders at the world beyond her
the sky
big and wide
blue and dark
changes colour
changes mood
ever so fascinating

the wind
that travels for miles
kisses her face
with the smell of city
glamour
temptations
vibrancy
worldliness
lust

the world outside is too complicated
says mom
stay here
it's safe
when you grow up
get a man and tend to the farm the house the family
like we all do

girl ponders at the world beyond the yonder
what will she become?
how will she live her life?

questions swarm the little mind
answers are the same

the world outside is too complicated
it's safe here

but still
the little heart yearns to taste
the bitterness to enjoy the sweet
the saddness to enjoy the happiness
the anger to enjoy calmness

and so she steps forth
out of the door
carrying with her a lovely pink bag embroided with flowers
she travels the world
like all others that are hungry to taste

at times she wish she never step out of the door
she curses at her ill fate, sometimes praises lord for her blessing
she becomes cynical from bitterness, but also gains love from others

it was a journey never to return

and even when she returns
it will still be the same house
same room
same window
same bag but threads of the embroided flowers are gone
and the girl behind the window
has become a woman




dream dangerously

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

an encounter
with a giant
that stands in an illusion
with a myriad of words
that spin in his will

what if... if only...
I wonder...
wouldn't it be interesting...

those are his magical abracadabra
which churn out tales
so surreal
yet real

I stood like a little girl
before this giant
hands outstretched
seeking for little souvenirs of this brush of fate
a few signatures
a kiss
a handshake

dream dangerously
sweet dreams
the giant whispered to me

gratified and thrilled
my heart fluttered
the wings carried me
to a land of stardust...

~My fav author Neil Gaiman is in town!~




I sense

Saturday, July 02, 2005

a hair rising moment
the silence before the bang of the gun in a race
the intensity of suspense in the horror movie

i held my breath
for the gruelling excitment
or an exhilirating despair

the future is a mist
a light flickers
was it an illusion
or the guiding light

i am confused

inching forward
i tremble

i sense
the calm at the eye of the tornado
the retreat before tsumani crescendos and tumble
the lost of gravity as the floor under your feet gives way

i sense no more




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