am i too slow or are you in a rush?
Saturday, April 30, 2005
you said you're an old bird
seen the world
took your rounds
and resting now
I'm a fledging newbie
waiting to see the world
wanting to venture forth
you say you'll show me the way
all i gotta do is to take the flight
i risk it
i take the dip
i enjoy the wind in my face
i love being by your side
you taught me how to spread my wings and fly
you taught me how to dive and prey
you taught me how to enjoy the moment
i learnt the ways
i practice them
i falter
you pick me up
dust off the dirt on my wings
i continue to fly
and falter
but never give up
never lose faith
it took a toll on you
perhaps i wasn't ready
to fly so high
so fast
perhaps you thought i could fly
higher
faster
our pace unmatched
i was behind
no longer side by side with you
we stopped
i ponder
is this the end
i refuse to give up
holding on to a promise and the faith
you refuse to try anymore
you need to move on
was i too slow for your pace
or were you in a rush in the first place
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 12:07 AM |
your face
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
your face
speaks a thousand words
yet your mouth
refuses to budge
your mind
runs through a thousand thoughts
yet your body
did not display any sign of disturbance
just a few moment of silence
sitting right next to you
i'll shudder
at the whirlwind of emotions that stirs between us
yet you remain non chalent
i wonder what goes on
in this endless pit of destiny's black hole
and what lies underneath at the end of it all for us
while at the same time
your face remains still
words unspoken
hearts unopened
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 12:40 AM |
quarter century old
Sunday, April 24, 2005
another year
another day
another minute
another second
i'm yet another year older
but felt like i'm years older
haven't been that high
so high
till the gravity of my senses leave me
i just pour out senselessly
all that left within me
never been that low
so low
till i can no longer fall
and finally learn how to touch base with myself
will never forget this year
that makes me who i am
and what i am.
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 2:23 AM |
Never like to write
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
i never like to write
never...
ever...
just a play of words
wrapping the simplest thoughts with fancy rhetoric
beat about the bush
never for me
and that's what i thought
words become my best friend
when i'm in the depths of despair
lending me little strings of hope
that dangles from above
to lift me up
writing become my partner in crime
walking along side with me.
it has a hand in letting my thoughts escape
from the dungeons of my conventions
and give them a new lease of life
since then
i've not given up on words
never will
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 1:39 AM |
writer's bug
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
dunno why
but caught the writer's bug.
the influx of inspiration is making me wild.
read this on my friend's blog... (kudoz to justin!)
"Everywhere I turn, I am told that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That is undoubtedly true, for tunnels must lead somewhere. It is only now that this light is visible, and it is inevitable that the realist who inhabits some musty corner of my consciousness clears his throat and suggests that the light, while representative of hope, could be the harbinger of darker times. It would be foolish, of course to pay this cantankerous has-been any attention. To be realistic, or to temper our thoughts and emotions with any degree of realism, is to fall prey to that great bane of great men: despair.
Tunnels are by definition longer than they are wide."
I don't know if it's an optimistic or pessimistic angel of his talking, perhaps the cantankerous side of him must end off the last line...
If we are meant to see light at the end of the tunnel, then it means no tunnel has a dead end... but if the tunnel is sealed? or the light at the tunnel leads to a deadly drop? Does these possibilities stop the realistic from burrowing the tunnel? and to sit down and cry over its lost cheese? And never find out the possibility of finding light at the end of the tunnel?
I guess I'm still a bloody utopian optimist...
Stay at the light side...
hoho...
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 12:27 AM |
moving on
Monday, April 18, 2005
life's a bus journey
some know their route
some don't
but we all travel through the passage of time
stopping momentarily at different intervals
some stops make us linger a bit longer
some are just for by pass
At some stops, you meet a strange beautiful lonely stranger
or even a smile from a passenger, that brightens up your day
but for most, you meet plenty of meaningless people
you see all sorts of persona
at the same time
you travel along
whether it's rain or shine
and see what life has to offer
at times, the ride is rough
other buses come crashing into you
some curse you for the lousy ride
cars cutting into your bus lane
people cheat you of your bus fare
you break down some times
and occassionally
help comes from the most unexpected places
a stranger motorcylist
an unknown pedestrain
with some warming words
and if you're lucky,
a lovely person will stay on with you
till you reach the terminal
some unlucky ones
travel alone
in an empty bus
but no matter what the ride has to offer
you still have to travel
and move on
till journey's end...
the beauty of life
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 10:12 PM |
i feel the same way
hey girl
i feel the same way as you do
some times
----------------------------------------------------
the power to hate
so tempting
yet it's beyond my reach
the power to despise
so delicious
yet i can't taste it
the depths of darkness
i want to fall
yet i always touch the ground
the hands of compassion will reach out to me
appealing me to empathize
to listen
and to accept
to understand
and to forgive
i can't bear myself to hate
for all that was done
i can't bear myself to desert
although a promise was forsaken
i can only understand
i can only empathize
i can only hope and wait
till i can see the light for all this again
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 9:08 PM |
so be it
Sunday, April 17, 2005
if fate has it such
that the tide will turn
and make the worst of everything
crash upon you
so be it
if destiny has it such
that you have to travel this road
and present you with obstacles
that makes you falter
so be it
if your life has it such
that all hope abandon you
at the most difficult of times
and you lose your way
so be it
accept what life has given
turn it around
make it your way
and walk on
to complete your path
so be it
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 9:25 PM |
something i read today
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Read something interesting somewhere...
"We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority.
Compassion automatically invites you to relate with people because you no longer
regard people as a drain on your energy."
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 12:21 AM |
a conversation that never happened
Monday, April 11, 2005
a phone call
your voice
stirs me
yet
we get by another call
without talking
the thought
that emotion
all those feelings
the longing to say them to you badly
yet strongly held back
i wanted to tell you
wanted to shout it out to you
i wanted to whisper them into your ears
wanted to let them out
the desire to arrest you
with tender voice
gentle words
but all wrapped up with a few simple casual words
straight voice
indifferent tone
and when the moment passes by
the call ends
there's nothing left
but a dial tone
nothing left
but a conversation that never happened
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 9:23 PM |
It just gets harder
Saturday, April 09, 2005
when you're a toddler
you learn how to walk
you learn how to talk
you learn what is circle, triangle, square, red, blue green
it doesn't even seem hard
although it was from ground zero
when you become a student
you begin to learn the finer aspects of hand eye coordination
you learn to express your thoughts and emotions
you learn what is circumference, area, square root
life seems fun
with adults showering you their care and concern and love
then you become a young adult
you are trained in logical thinking
you are exposed to complex theories and thinkings
you explore human relationships, of love, hate, likes, dislikes and multitudes of it
life gets complicated
problems begin to sprout
then you reach early adulthood
you worry about career
you search for your life's direction
you get your heart broken and you broke others'
life becomes confusing
troubles, problems, worries, despair and stress come in waves after waves
life is tough
eventually when you find the love of your life time
or just settle with whom ever that's decent
you find a footing to start from
perhaps you're proud of your achievement, or still searching
but you win some, you lose some
you would have scars from several falls
you would have stumbled along the way
and the path continues to intimidate you
it just gets harder and harder
you finally have kids
you hate your boss
your business stresses you out
the finances that you are burdened with is the only reason for you to work
you thought your wisdom of so many years will pull you through
then your spouse doesn't seem to care as much
kids are growing up, puberty angst, rebellion, arguments
your parents get older, health bills, naggin
their needs become a burden
you wonder how did you end up like this
when finally your kids have grown up
you had enough savings to retire
just when you thought you can sit back and enjoy life
your health would have suffered
from the endless toils and strains
your body would be worn and tired
your spirit would be scarred
you might even want to be out of this whole game of life
occassionally, little candy surprises appear here and there
but when life decides to pull the candy out of your mouth
life is still a toil
life...just gets harder
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 7:13 PM |
A real artist
"Do you realise... what is required of an actor, why a real artist must lead a full, interesting, beautiful, varied, exciting and inspiring life? ~ Stanislavski
The authority in acting had spoken...
The words remain true till these days.
I thank the array of emotional vocabulary that I had built over the past year.
Haven't felt so alive.
Alive with pain
Sensatised by sorrow
Perturbed by frustration
Despaired by the bleakness of what beholds
Yet at the same time, still staunchly keeping the faith
Never been so inspired
Never been so awaken
Never been so awed by the forces of destiny
Never been so down
Never appreciate the beauty of life
until recently
what happens before
was a mess made by a day dreamer, sleep walker
I guess the sleeper in me has slowly awaken
I embrace the world with my open arms
I am taking the step to be a real artist
Come and take me if you want you bitchy life!
I'll make you my fire
to lighten up the world with the beauty of art
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 1:11 AM |
sooooo unfair!
Thursday, April 07, 2005
soooooo unfair!!!
i wanna say it out loud!
sooooooooo unfair!!!!!!!
life is getting waaaaaay toooooo bitchy for me to tolerate!!!!!!!!!!
get off my back!!!!!!!!!
argh!!!!!!!!!
damn!!!!!!!!
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 11:34 PM |
life is full of problems
every waking moment
every single day
every single second
you are bugged with problems
from constipation
to coffee too bland, too bitter
from massive jams
to people coming late for appointments
from uncooperative clients
to people pushing you on the escalator
from people jumping taxi queue
to products of the self contradicting policies all over the place
all over the place
you face problems at every turn
you hit the wall every time you advance
you got your finger burnt in every venture
you get things thrown in your face and you got caught in surprise
makes you wonder some times
how do everyone survive
the ardous task of waking up
and face the world every day
i wonder too
life is full of problems
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 10:06 PM |
if you ask me
if you ask me
would i choose to face it or escape
i'll face it
and die with valour
if you ask me
would i choose it or you
i'll choose you
because love is eternity
if you ask me
would i have not known you
i'll rather know you and suffer
than to search for you for a life time
if you ask me
would i still hold on to you even when all is over
i'll hold you in my heart silently
and let you fly
if you ask me
would i give you my blessing
when you fly and find another nest
i'll do what it takes for you to be happy
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 9:58 PM |
Someone once told me
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Someone once told me
Everything happens for a reason
You may not know the reason now
But it will prepare you for something in the future
Someone once told me
There's no right or wrong time
Time is just time
It's how you make out of it
Someone once told me
There's no right or wrong choice
Don't regret the choices that you make
And don't make choices that you will regret
Someone once told me
The harder you fall
The higher you will bounce
So never give up when you fall
Someone once told me
Follow your dreams to wherever they lead
Don't be distracted by less worthy needs
Be faithful and loyal, and the dreams will keep coming true
Someone once told me
Dance like no one is looking
Sing like no one is hearing
And live like there's no tomorrow
I tell myself
I only have this life
So live it up
Like I'll never live again
Today is screwed up
But it will become yesterday tomorrow
So what about today...
Ha!
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 10:28 PM |
Quarter Life Crisis
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Talk about puberty angst... i think quarter life crisis beats it hands down... another 20 over years from now, I'll post another one on mid life crisis.. if I were to get that far.
Gotten this from a friend...
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realising that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realising that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
What you don't recognise is that they are realising that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job, and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realising that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realise that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realise that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself, and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realise is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 10:25 PM |
Will
Saturday, April 02, 2005
when the road ahead seems long
and the end is no where in sight
when the destination invites you
and yet it doesn't promise an easy path
when around you there are obstacles
waiting for you to give up
when whispers of the leaves echo in the dark
determined to distract you
When your body is weary and the mind is weak
nothing pushes you on
The only thing to hold on to
is the will to press on
complete what set you on this journey
till you can finally rest
and tell yourself
you have finally made this journey
where no others travel.
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 12:52 AM |
It's been a while
Friday, April 01, 2005
It's been a while since we last touch
each other's skin
Been a while since we last spoke
Of tender words
Been a while since we last feel
Each other's heart
When did we last hold
Seeking solace in an embrace
Wrapped in each other's skin
Warmed by love
Safe from cold and harshness from the world
When did we last meet
Just the two of us
Take a leave from the world
And seek refuge in our little nest
Enjoying a simple laugh over a meal
Will we slip by each other?
Or will you turn out to be someone who watches over me
Like how I will stay by your side
To walk the rest of the journey with you
Till world's end
I miss you
Flower from concrete jungle _ b l o g g e d _ @ 11:53 PM |
